Hopewell Bay's hottest hunks exposed – meet the town's most eligible bachelors!
Hopewell Bay is famous for its white sand beaches, historic promenades, and a certain family with a penchant for clashing with law enforcement. But it’s high time our coastal gem gained recognition for something else: the gorgeous gentlemen of our town! This Valentine’s Day, we’re introducing you to some of the city’s most sought-after suitors and where you might spot them.
Arthur
Sure, he left Maddie Boulton at the altar. And yes, he may have burned her house down. But should we judge a book so quickly by its cover, or a man by his actions? We’ve heard he’s a changed man! Arthur has been sighted around Hopewell Bay recently, sparking rumors of an attempted reunion with Maddie.
“There’s absolutely nothing going on between us. If you see him, please remind him of the restraining order,” Maddie commented. (Ouch! We guess their fiery flame has fizzled.)
Where to spot Arthur: outside Beaumont Hall, motorbiking, hiding in bushes, general scheming about town
Roddy
Roddy Took has taken the place of the town’s second-most-sought-after bachelor (more about the first one later in this article). This man’s a total fixer-upper (as long as he keeps his helmet on – we’re not sure about his hairstyle)! The mild-mannered building inspector has been seen inspecting his chances with many of Hopewell Bay’s ladies—including, reportedly, my colleague Jackie. Before Jackie, though, there was Maddie (is there a pattern here?).
“You really need to stop calling me, Holden. Roddy and I are just friends, and this is making things between Jackie and I really weird,” Maddie commented. (Okay, Roddy, time to lay a new foundation – she’s just not that into you!)
Where to spot Roddy: City Hall, inspecting Beaumont Hall, hardware store, camping, birdwatching (yawn)
Hank
Hunky Hank, the twentysomething Hopewell Bay heartthrob may not be technically single, but let’s just say the clock’s ticking. How many years does Deb Boulton have left? Hank is due to become the richest bachelor in Hopewell Bay once he… (The rest of this paragraph has been redacted due to editorial intervention. The Boulton Bugle deeply regrets this lapse in judgment and extends heartfelt apologies to Mrs. Boulton.)
Where to spot Hank: enjoying the company of HIS BELOVED WIFE, DEB BOULTON (seriously, sorry, Deb).
Emilio
Emilio Costa arrived in Hopewell Bay to run the city aquarium, and it seems he’s not a fish out of water when it comes to charming the local ladies! This suave sea lion works and spends a lot of time with Bella Cruz, a local woman known for her fiery temper (and not responding to my calls), and the starfish-crossed lovers have been spotted strolling hand in hand along the beach (yuck).
But what about him and, yes, you guessed it, Maddie? We've heard a thing or two about some sea-horse-play between these two! We did what we do best – reached out to Maddie for comment:
“Holden! I know Emilio from attending a few beach cleanups with him. This better be the last time you contact me. Ever.”
Where to spot Emilio: beach, aquarium, taking his cat Amy for walks, not with Maddie, apparently
Julius
Age is just a number! For those who like their men old-school, rumor has it that sworn bachelor Julius hasn’t been seeing anyone (or anything, to be fair – Mr. Walters should really get his eyesight checked) since the summer of 1969. If you’re into pensive mumbling, historical anecdotes, and slow, slow, slow sunset walks, Julius could be your perfect boomer beau!
Where to spot Julius: Hopewell Bay Public Library, and sometimes online, as he recently discovered the World Wide Web. Still, he’s more of a quill-pen kind of guy.
Editor’s Correction:
We’ve removed “Holden Thomas” from the eligible bachelor listing. This is your job, not your personal dating app, Holden.